The Fort 2

"The history of the Great Civil War of 2009", for 3-year-olds

Thursday 3 September 2009 , by Teatime

So, little ones, this is what happened:

Valve did something very stupid.

People were angry.

Then Valve fixed that very stupid thing a little until it was only stupid, but no more very.

People still didn’t like it and decided: "If Valve can be stupid, we can be stupid, too"

And so they went and started to be stupid, too. Not all of them, but many. The others didn’t mind much. Stupid can be entertaining.

But Valve didn’t like the people being stupid. But they were caught in a stupidity-feedback-loop (adult word, I’ll explain it to you when you are older) and forgot to tell people that. Instead they thought: "If we put more things into our initial stupidity maybe people will stop being stupid themselves". And they did.

Valve underestimated the stupidity of the people. They also underestimated their own stupidity. Apparently stupidity grows exponentially (Also a word I’ll explain to you another time, children).

And eventually Valve was fed up with the people’s stupidity. They went and said: "In our game we are the only one with the right to be stupid. Everybody else having been stupid will be punished. And anybody still trying to be stupid will be punished more".

And they punished the stupid people by taking away things people had gotten because of being stupid.

Valve also gave the people who were not stupid a presidential seal of non-stupidity, which looked very nice, but wasn’t itself much of a non-stupid thing.

So the stupid people looked at the non-stupid people and were angry at them (which made the non-stupid people feel very stupid).

They were even more angry at Valve for calling them stupid and taking away their things.

Since the stupid people couldn’t beat Valve they started beating everybody else.

Everybody else figured beating was a new fashion trend and joined in.

Valve was sitting in its headquarters and was wondering what was going on? "These people are so stupid!" "But, Sir, I thought we were ...?"

*FACEPALMS*

All this rubbish just because of stupid hats.

But as much as I’d like to beat people to their senses the simple fact remains that Valve made a series of bad decisions or failed to take proper actions along the way.

VALVE, THIS IS YOUR MESS! FIX IT!

Discussion

  • "The history of the Great Civil War of 2009", for 3-year-olds 4 September 2009 01:09, by Hzza

    I love you Tea, nice job.

  • "The history of the Great Civil War of 2009", for 3-year-olds 4 September 2009 12:52, by Torgue

    That about sums it up nicely, Tea.

  • "The history of the Great Civil War of 2009", for 3-year-olds 6 September 2009 10:06, by Nonomu198

    I wouldn’t call idling "stupid", I idled myself on idle servers until I had gotten all the weapons (before achievements were tied to unlockables again), and while I never idled after that for hats, I don’t blame people for using the idle program to get hats. Everybody said using the idler was "ok", while Valve didn’t say anything (actually, they only now said that only using the idler is "wrong", nothing about idling). What Valve did, however, was add MORE hats for people to idle for. I never saw idlers as a problem as its own, only the result of the real problem, the shitty random drop system and rare shitty hats by Valve (which they have yet to fix, but were ever so kind to the community by labeling idlers as cheaters, taking away their items, and declaring war between the holy and the unholy). Valve are so freaking stupid, that’s true. I can’t believe the Valve staff all wear the Halo, they get their items by will, and unless they have a special valve-tf2, USING AN EXTERNAL PROCESS.

    • "The history of the Great Civil War of 2009", for 3-year-olds 6 September 2009 16:06, by Teatime

      Well, the text above is satire, and the wording was chosen accordingly. You may have noted that the text called Valve stupid, and while the drop system have been flawed and the recent actions controversial, "stupid" might as well not be an accurate depiction of Valve.

      But if you want my opinion: No offense, but personally I found the idea of idling ridiculous. I haven’t seen any harm in it, and I would certainly not call it "cheating" (not in this context, even if it might have been technically true), but I would be hard pressed to call the obsession and motivation of idlers intelligent, perhaps not even rational.

  • "The history of the Great Civil War of 2009", for 3-year-olds 23 September 2009 09:46

    this is stupid

  • "The history of the Great Civil War of 2009", for 3-year-olds 12 December 2009 14:50, by Chaos

    <3 TeaTime

Welcome to The Fort, where you will find discussion and commentary about all things related to Team Fortress 2. Here at the Fort we will reflect on the game and the people playing it, and try to generate thoughtful discussion.

Contents

Latest Articles

SPIP | | Follow-up of the site's activity RSS 2.0 | Legal notice | Supported by r007