Mommy, I want my Ambassador!

„Mommy, I want my Ambassador“
“Yes dear, I know”
“You promised me an Ambassador”
“No dear, this company, Valve, did”
“’kay, but I don’t have it yet. All my friends have it, except Billy, but he’s gay anyway”
“I’m sure Billy is not homosexual, honey”
“Ah, I mean he’s stupid. A retard. A fucking fag”
“Oh, I see. But please don’t use the F-Word, my dear”
“Fag? ‘kay. But Mom, Kevin already has gotten the Ambassador twice, and I have not. Do something”
“Well, honey, there’s nothing I can do”
“Call them and tell that homo, Newell, you will sue him if he doesn’t give me an Ambassador”
“Honey, I called there yesterday, remember. And this nice lady told me Valve was having technical difficulties at the moment and there was no way she could help me”
“Oh mom, they are only making stupid excuses. You should call that retard Walker and tell him you will kick him in the balls”
“But dear, I don’t have his number”
“Mom, I need this Ambassador”
“But you have told me that you get those weapons after a while by just playing”
“But I want it NOW”
“Sorry, honey, there’s nothing I can do”
“But … MOOOOOM”
“Yes?”
“I will not clean my room until I have my Ambassador”
“…”
“And I will not brush my teeth”
“…”
“And I will stay up all night watching TV”
“Well, dear, if you must. Just remember that you have courses at the university tomorrow. You should better prepare for those tests next week”
„I hate you. And I hate Valve. This game has gotten so gay. I will stop playing it”
“Alright, dear”
“Mommy”
“Yes?”
“I WANT MY AMBASSADOR”